Follow the Money

by Cray Z. Fish

Once upon a time was a man named David
knew the value of a dollar
Shoveling dung ever since he was young
He wore a distinctive collar
Had him a wife and a couple of boys
Simon, Alvin and Ted
Put’em in school and said follow the rules
or else you’re gonna end up dead

Say follow the money is the first rule sonny
Most important rule we got
Follow the money I’m not talkin’ funny
Second rule is don’t get caught

Simon was an intellectual boy
Tried to live by the book
Tried to write a proof for
Good ol Martin Luther
Till he got his own goose cooked
Cause the inquisition took the position
The Vatican aims to please
Took him in possession
tried for a confession
Simon died of disease

So follow the money is the first rule sonny
Most important rule we got
Follow the money I’m not talkin’ funny
Second rule is don’t get caught

Now Alvin was clever.
Thought “The book? Whatever!
Holiness is very nice,
But to ease your struggle,
I’m gonna smuggle
In a ship of Indian spice”
Feeling pretty chipper
he became a skipper
sailed away to Zanzibar
Kept what he was earnin
Made his return in
A ship called the Southern Star

Said follow the money is the first rule sonny
Most important rule we got
Follow the money I’m not talkin’ funny
Second rule is don’t get caught

Now Theodore’s my geezer
What a people pleaser
Knows how your money is spent
Went to sell the opus
to some drunken popists
right before the start of lent
He swapped the smugglers
for a bunch of jugglers
people thought that he was mad
But he made about a million
with his pavilion
what can I say that’s dad!

Said follow the money is the first rule sonny
Most important rule we got
Follow the money I’m not talkin’ funny
Second rule is don’t get caught

Now me and my station
got the education,
last us the rest of our lives
My brother’s in the navy
I’m eatin gravy
enjoying my pubs and all of your wives.
Now you may think its cute
I’m dancin’ round in my boots
and a bobbin around in my hat
But I got your gold
While the gospel’s getting told
Now what do you think about that‽

Now follow the money is the first rule sonny
Most important rule we got
Follow the money I’m not talkin’ funny
Second rule is don’t get caught

Say follow the money is the first rule sonny
Most important rule we got
Follow the money I’m not talkin’ funny
Second rule is don’t get caught

A bubba bubba don’t get caught!